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T O P I C
2008 TOTY Awards
January 22nd 2009, 03:22 CET by m0nty

CheesyPoof is the one who's late this time, so I have reassumed my chairmanship of the PlanetCrap Troll Of The Year awards. You were all nominated, as usual, but only a select few won the prestigious trophies.*

CheesyPoof noted down his ideas in a poorly structured Google Doc filled with unintelligible gibberish, so I'll let him add his thoughts in the comments lest you all develop the same sort of migraine I suffered through trying to decipher it. Of course, what the fans want are the traditional categories, so without further ado...

FOREIGN DIVISION
Best Troll By A Publisher (Total PC Gaming for asking Dumdeedum to do a regular comic)

PLANETCRAP DIVISION
PlanetCrap's Worst Attempt At A Troll (gaggle for this post)
PlanetCrap's Least Comprehensible Troll (bishop for reasons which need no further exposition, unlike his posts)
PlanetCrap's Most Pretentious Troll (m0nty for pretending he will make money from his dumb site LULZ amirite)
PlanetCrap's Best Drama Queen Troll (UncleJeet for blogging his marriage breakdown, divorce and new engagement just to get Crappers talking about him again)
PlanetCrap's Best Multiclass Troll [e.g. Dev/Troll, Journo/Troll] (PenguinX for his blossoming artistic career, making him our resident Artiste/Troll)
PlanetCrap's Most Rabid Fanboi (BobJustBob for his undying love for Spore in the face of massive letdown of expectations)
PlanetCrap's Best User of Cliches To Deflect Trolls (jjohnsen for being a sport with that whole Mormon thing)
PlanetCrap's Best Cliche-spawning Troll (yotsuya... hopefully the next cliche will be something related to an AZ Super Bowl win)
PlanetCrap's Most Predictable Troll (Funkdrunk for his only appearances being threats against people who mention or talk to a particular Crapper)
PlanetCrap's Most Imaginative Troll (Jibble for this post)
PlanetCrap's Best Use Of Technical Jargon In A Troll (bago... nuff said)
PlanetCrap's Best Political Correctness Troll (Hugin  - honorable mention as always for Caryn, e.g. her sterling work on Nazis in the Gaijin thread, but Hugin was there fighting the good fight too)
Best Troll In A PlanetCrap Topic (Chunkstyle for So is Planetcrap dead then?)
PlanetCrap's Most Witty Troll (Shadarr - more of a career TOTY than anything spectacular he did in 2008)
PlanetCrap's Most Convincing Conversion From Troll To Human (The_Joker for having a kid and then realising that he had to grow the fuck up)
PlanetCrap's Best New Troll (TreeFrog in the absence of any actually worthy candidates... proof that he is a troll)
PlanetCrap's Trolling Lifetime Achievement Award (Warren Marshall just to piss him off)
PlanetCrap's Best Single Troll Post (Caryn for this with honorable mention to Gunp01nt for this)
PlanetCrap's Best Troll (FoRmaT... anyone who disagrees with this has obviously not spent enough time on the site, he is currently our pre-eminent troll by a long way)

* note: no actual trophies are to be handed out.
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: 2008 TOTY Awards

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#48 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 20:23:29
http://uglycode.com
You could buy house like Gunpoint's for maybe $200'000 in Prague, near the center. You can rent 2-room apt. for around $750; estate agencies usually ask for one month's rent + tax for themselves, and you usually need to pay 1-3 months' worth first.
#49 by FoRmaT
2009-01-23 20:25:37
How bad is crime in Prague? (Not a snipe, but an honest question)

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#50 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 20:30:18
http://uglycode.com
Beware of pickpockets and use common sense. I haven't run into trouble yet, and haven't heard of much. I feel comfortable leaving pubs around midnight and walking 3 miles home when I miss last bus to where I live (20km from Prague).
I wouldn't want to work in retail here, or be one of the demographics targeted by skinheads, but other than that, I think it's OK for a city.
#51 by FoRmaT
2009-01-23 20:33:14
Doesn't really sound any worse than Berlin... I want to see you city one day; it looks very lovely. I might just drive there sometime and spend a day or three.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#52 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 20:35:01
http://uglycode.com
Oh, snap!
#53 by deadlock
2009-01-23 21:37:38
http://www.deadlocked.org/
G-Man (#46):
Exterior looks pretty run down but interior is fine enough. Hard to believe you had to pay a €1000 broker fee for that place. I guess that's Europe for you though.

Yep. Good ol' homogenous, one-nation, monocultural Europe. Or 'Yurp' as you silly Americanos like to call it.

#54 by Gunp01nt
2009-01-23 21:41:02
supersimon33@hotmail.com
The whole house (my apartment plus the floor above it) was for sale mid last year for € 194.000, with an added 'needs full renovation'. Now fully renovated I assume it would go for about € 250.000.

If I could buy just my apartment, I'm sure I'd have lower monthly costs (except for the huge broker's fee and buyer's costs at the start which could run up to € 15.000) but I really don't feel that I can commit myself to a place for that long at this point. The only commitment I'd have to make now is to stay at this place for at least two years, otherwise it wouldn't be worth the brokerage fee.

"IT consultant of perfect lovemaking art."
- randomly generated subject header of a spam e-mail
#55 by Gunp01nt
2009-01-23 21:41:19
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Did I mention that the housing market in Holland is insane?

"IT consultant of perfect lovemaking art."
- randomly generated subject header of a spam e-mail
#56 by lwf
2009-01-23 22:06:24
Europe is just another flyover state to me.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.
#57 by Shadarr
2009-01-23 22:10:05
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
That was weak.  This is why you don't win a TOTY.

Witnesses in the house heard Jones say "why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama you done stabbed me."
#58 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 22:32:47
http://uglycode.com
Yeah, Bob's post about 3rd world of gaming was much more annoying. You're just getting... more squeaky.
#59 by m0nty
2009-01-24 05:17:50
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I am sick of seeing Prague. Every other film is made there these days, it seems.
#60 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-24 12:20:11
http://uglycode.com
Oh, come on. Most of them are probably imitations of Prague shot in Vienna or something. IMDB lists only 933 films, and most of them seem to be Czech.
#61 by bago
2009-01-29 02:32:59
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
I need another syllable to complete "Trolling Without Moving", sung to Jamiroquai. Trololing?

Sabrina Poirier, a student at Pensacola who withdrew in 1997, was disciplined for what is known on the campus as "optical intercourse" � staring too intently into the eyes of a member of the opposite sex. This is also referred to as "making eye babies."
#62 by FoRmaT
2009-01-29 03:29:40
What?

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#63 by m0nty
2009-01-29 04:35:38
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
The local temperature is currently 44.8C/112.6F. That is all.
#64 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 04:38:43
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
It's pretty ridiculous isn't it.  I don't have aircon in the house.  I may expire soon.

#65 by CheesyPoof
2009-01-29 04:40:25
I hate summer. It's a balmy 38F here now, that's pretty good.

You gotta be nuts not to have AC in Oz. It's fucking hot all over in that country.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#66 by m0nty
2009-01-29 04:47:31
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I have no aircon either. Although Tai does in the front room. I have never wanted to kill another man as much in my life.
#67 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 04:50:16
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
This house is one of those long single story terrace things.  Houses on both sides, so double thick brick between.  It keeps cool remarkably well under normal conditions.  A few hot days is no bother.  It's these long stretches of 40+C that it all falls down.  Can't open it up at night to cool down because it will still be 28C outside!  Predicted 43 tomorrow, then 35 the day after...

#68 by m0nty
2009-01-29 05:05:28
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Just reached 45.5C/113.9F.
#69 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 05:16:46
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
That it did, that it did.

#70 by LPMiller
2009-01-29 06:18:43
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
it's a very nice 14F right now here. Anything above zero at this point is very nice.

"Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" - "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."

"LP, your big balls are a religion." - Jibble
#71 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 09:30:17
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
I heard Geelong lost power, so at least m0nty's housemate lost his AirCon too.

#72 by m0nty
2009-01-29 09:59:44
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Yes, I had to escape to Waurn Ponds and wander the air-conditioned shopping centre for a couple of hours like a G.A. Romero zombie. Wandered so much that my "flip flops" fell off and I had to buy new ones.
#73 by Dingle!
2009-01-29 10:15:29
cygnusx44@gmail.com
I'm glad to shake my ass and rid myself of you morons. I wasn't included in the troll awards. Yes, I'm pissed, so deal with it. I was here when this place first fucking opened, and rode your saddles back and forth like Niagara Falls.

UP YOURS, and EAT SHIT.
#74 by m0nty
2009-01-29 11:04:56
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
If you were here more than once a month maybe we'd take some notice, Dingle.
#75 by Shadarr
2009-01-29 12:58:30
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
Additionally, if you were a better troll.

Witnesses in the house heard Jones say "why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama you done stabbed me."
#76 by gaggle
2009-01-29 16:48:10
#68 by m0nty
Just reached 45.5C

Holy shit man.

"Common sense; it is so rare, it is a god damn superpower."
#77 by Matt Perkins
2009-01-29 17:27:57
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
Dingle! (#73):
I'm glad to shake my ass and rid myself of you morons. I wasn't included in the troll awards. Yes, I'm pissed, so deal with it. I was here when this place first fucking opened, and rode your saddles back and forth like Niagara Falls.

UP YOURS, and EAT SHIT.

We still love you.

"some of those words want to be other words." - LP
"the concept that a happy worker is a productive worker is hardly an entry from Matt's Big Book Of Things The Fairies Said." - Dum
#78 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 22:44:56
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
#76 by gaggle

#68 by m0nty

Just reached 45.5C

Holy shit man.

I think it topped out at 45.8C near m0nty yesterday.  It was a cool 44ish here.

#79 by FoRmaT
2009-01-29 23:02:34
That is awful, man. Back in Tenerife, for a few nights during the summer, we had temperatures of about 32° and that already felt like torture. I remember going to bed, and the bed was hot as if someone had been laying in it, and it felt like an oven. Disgusting. My problem is that, even when it's hot like that and even if I'm burning, I can't go to sleep naked or without at least a thick blanket, because regardless of the heat I'll wake up in the middle of the night, frozen.

Intimate fact of the day: even if it's 30°+ outside, I need to sleep with my socks on, because if I don't, I'll also invariably wake up with frozen feet and feeling a beginning flu.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#80 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-29 23:06:07
http://uglycode.com
Good luck, guys. I feel like dying when it's over 25C.
Also, my superior will be traveling around the supposedly safe west coast for around a month, starting in a week. Our boss went on to tell him about itty bitty spiders that are all over the place that have poison that can kill a horse. He deducted that "The Nature" didn't want horses over there.
#81 by Ergo
2009-01-29 23:17:18
West coast of what?

"The Postmaster General and I had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd return Joan Baez's phonecalls." --Jack Donaghy
#82 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-29 23:28:20
http://uglycode.com
Oh, sorry. He's going to see Australia.
I sent him what Monty said about the temperatures, and he just said that it's just an exception, "it's usually just 25-30". Well, good luck with that.
#83 by gaggle
2009-01-29 23:29:50
Poisonous spiders? Obviously Australia. You guys live on a landmass still actively trying to repel its human invaders, when will you get the damn point?

"Common sense; it is so rare, it is a god damn superpower."
#84 by FoRmaT
2009-01-29 23:31:33
Where else are they gonna go? Detroit?

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#85 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 23:40:40
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
#82 by Milan Brezovský

Oh, sorry. He's going to see Australia.

I sent him what Monty said about the temperatures, and he just said that it's just an exception, "it's usually just 25-30". Well, good luck with that.

He's right, the current week is an exception.  There is usually 1 or 2 weeks of the year that are like this.

#86 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-29 23:46:31
http://uglycode.com
I will still place bets about the cause of his unfortunate death, and I bet on the weather.
#87 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 23:56:32
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
#86 by Milan Brezovský

I will still place bets about the cause of his unfortunate death, and I bet on the weather.

If the spiders don't get him, my money is on the land based Sharks.

#88 by CheesyPoof
2009-01-30 00:20:56
What people don't know about Mad Max is that it was a documentary.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#89 by TreeFrog
2009-01-30 00:44:57
OwenButler (#87):
If the spiders don't get him, my money is on the land based Sharks.

Candygram!

"What people don't know about Mad Max is that it was a documentary." -Cheesy
#90 by Shadarr
2009-01-30 00:53:24
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
I bet poisonous snake.  Who's managing the pool?

Witnesses in the house heard Jones say "why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama you done stabbed me."
#91 by OwenButler
2009-01-30 01:08:40
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
#89 by TreeFrog

OwenButler (#87):

If the spiders don't get him, my money is on the land based Sharks.

Candygram!

I had to google that.  Nice.

#92 by m0nty
2009-01-30 03:44:55
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
The power companies decided to do what they are now calling "load-shedding", which is rolling two-hour blackouts to random areas, one of which included my house. This is supposed to be a first-world country, dammit. I am thinking of looking up the power company executives and shedding a load on their Lexuses, if you know what I mean.
#93 by jjohnsen
2009-01-30 04:35:07
http://www.johnsenclan.com
#92 by m0nty
The power companies decided to do what they are now calling "load-shedding", which is rolling two-hour blackouts to random areas, one of which included my house. This is supposed to be a first-world country, dammit. I am thinking of looking up the power company executives and shedding a load on their Lexuses, if you know what I mean.

California has done the same thing.

#94 by Jamie
2009-01-30 04:57:27
jamie@jmadigan.net http://www.jmadigan.net
We called them brownouts, though. Appropriate.

blog | photoblog | PlanetCrap Flickr group

"It was a little hard to tell how bad I was bleeding on account of the salsa" -- Jibble
#95 by OwenButler
2009-01-30 05:01:16
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
#92 by m0nty

The power companies decided to do what they are now calling "load-shedding", which is rolling two-hour blackouts to random areas, one of which included my house. This is supposed to be a first-world country, dammit. I am thinking of looking up the power company executives and shedding a load on their Lexuses, if you know what I mean.

This also happened the day after many statements to news sources that there was "more than enough power", "Our systems can cope with the load easily" etc. etc..

#96 by m0nty
2009-01-30 05:14:56
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
And then they blamed Tasmania. Sneaky.
#97 by OwenButler
2009-01-30 05:52:51
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
Oh really?  I didn't realise.

TO ARMS!

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