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Craplets
October 2nd 2003, 00:32 CEST by Dumdeedum

First up is the news that The Bard's Tale is back and being remade by Brian Fargo (of Wasteland & Fallout fame).  Much beloved by many aged gamers, we can soon expect many hazy anecdotes about how the original was better.

It's an age old debate: do people suck?  Gamespot apply it astutely to the gaming community and conclude that yes, yes they do.  Thankfully it's fixable by a) the threat of physical violence and b) making games more fun.  Amazing stuff indeed, but at least the article came with an amusing pelican picture.

The Beeb took time out from real journalism to ponder whether theft of items in online games is as serious as, y'know, actual factual crime.  Quoting the South Korean police as receiving more than 22,000 reports of game related "cybercrime" this year alone, it seems we've finally discovered who to report that wallhacking AWP whore to.

And finally for lovers of those other, quaint media types there's trailers for The Return Of The King and The Matrix: Revolutions available. Most important however is the imminent release of a new Pratchett book.

Discuss!
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#43 by Marcin
2003-10-02 16:55:40
marcin@wickedtoast.com www.damodred.net
Small Gods is probably the one that gets the most reads by me. Soul Music is perhaps the other one...there's just something about that scene as she rides into town by the guards and one of them elbows the other going:
"That was her!"
"Who?"
"You know...SUSAN DEATH!"

AAAAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!

Ahem.

If you like Pratchett, give Robert Rankin a whirl. You can find him at www.amazon.co.uk, the shipping isn't really that bad. I recommend 'A Dog Called Demolition' or 'The book of ultimate truths'. It's definitely a case of style over content, but the style is just soooo good. Two books is probably pretty good, as it gets repetitive after that, though.

Pratchett's definitely gotten over the style thing, and recently books have a lot more content. The most recent one, um...Night Watch, I think, was downright contemplative. Much heavier than previous. So I'm rather curious about the  new one...

Every string which has one end also has another end - Finagle's First Fundamental Finding
#44 by Marcin
2003-10-02 16:57:26
marcin@wickedtoast.com www.damodred.net
Doesn't Gaiman live in Minnesota now? I should go stalk as well... (Minneapolis here).

Every string which has one end also has another end - Finagle's First Fundamental Finding
#45 by Bailey
2003-10-02 17:13:50
Small Gods is probably the one that gets the most reads by me. Soul Music is perhaps the other one...there's just something about that scene as she rides into town by the guards and one of them elbows the other going:
"That was her!"
"Who?"
"You know...SUSAN DEATH!"

AAAAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!

Huh.

Anywhere but here, with anyone but you.
#46 by Marcin
2003-10-02 17:21:57
marcin@wickedtoast.com www.damodred.net
You had to be there.

Every string which has one end also has another end - Finagle's First Fundamental Finding
#47 by mrbloo
2003-10-02 17:28:40
mrbloo2000@hotmail.com
I thought Pratchett's Night Watch was a big step forward for him.  Less weak puns, not to mention darker and more adult in tone.  I'd recommend it for anyone that feels burned out by his earlier books.  If his new one is similar, it should be a good read.

#48 by LPMiller
2003-10-02 19:24:03
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Well hey Marcin, I'm in Plymouth. I'd invite you out for a beer, but I don't drink beer, don't like people, and drink alone anyway. But hey.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#49 by Bailey
2003-10-02 19:29:57
Time to dust off the zing and trot it around the course a few times.

Anywhere but here, with anyone but you.
#50 by Ergo
2003-10-02 20:02:08
#48 LPMiller
Well hey Marcin, I'm in Plymouth. I'd invite you out for a beer, but I don't drink beer, don't like people, and drink alone anyway. But hey.

Don't like beer??

Fag.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs
#51 by lwf
2003-10-02 20:03:51
He's probably allergic.

the rain hits the ground and the trees they dry it up
#52 by Shadarr
2003-10-02 20:07:34
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
I don't like beer.  Of all the forms alcohol can take, beer changes the least between when it goes in and when it goes out.
#53 by Ergo
2003-10-02 20:08:50
Fag.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs
#54 by Shadarr
2003-10-02 20:26:04
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
Speaking of alcohol, I found this yesterday while looking up stupid warning labels.  You can read them all if you want, but the only really funny one is:

Vodka
Warning: Pregnant women should switch to beer if fetus starts kicking.
#55 by lwf
2003-10-02 20:50:37
Warning labels suck compared to do not do this diagrams.

the rain hits the ground and the trees they dry it up
#56 by Creole Ned
2003-10-02 22:10:25
I like an occasional beer.

!

"I don't bemoan the great paste" - LPMiller
#57 by Ergo
2003-10-02 22:16:38
#56 Creole Ned
I like an occasional beer.

!

I applaud you, sir.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs
#58 by Shadarr
2003-10-02 22:30:32
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
So the gay guy is the only one you don't call a fag?  I don't get you at all.
#59 by Squeaky
2003-10-02 22:34:40
I used to never drink beer. Then I went to England with three other people that can only be described as "occasionally known to be sober".

The reason of your unreasonable usage of my reason, does so enfeeble my reason, that I have reason to expostulate with your beauty.
DVDs
#60 by Ergo
2003-10-02 23:07:54
#58 Shadarr
So the gay guy is the only one you don't call a fag?  I don't get you at all.

I'm an enigma.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs
#61 by yotsuya
2003-10-03 00:11:51
Ergo-

Not only do I not watch movies, I don't drink beer as I don't watch them. Clean liver and all.

"YES!!  You see people, THAT'S why he's the Vice-President of A/V Services here at Respawn Games.  Yotsuya ALWAYS unleashes the fucking fury!" - Warren Marshall
#62 by mgns
2003-10-03 00:17:26
Why should the livers of this world have it any easier than the other organs? Fuck the livers. It's a conspiracy, a conspiracy I say!

Turn out the light, bolt the door.
I ain't going out there no more.
#63 by Warren Marshall
2003-10-03 00:27:04
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
If the liver wants to take up space in my body it can bloody well earn its keep.

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.
#64 by Ergo
2003-10-03 01:01:27
yot--

See #63. Words to live by.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs
#65 by LPMiller
2003-10-03 01:01:50
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Now hey, I do not have a clean liver, I just don't drink beer. Whiskey, vodka, and whiskey are perfectly ok with me.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#66 by Ergo
2003-10-03 01:03:56
You're back in the club, then.

"I keep trying to read your posts, but all the letters keep morphing into "HULAHGUALGHUAALHAGH". Perhaps I can file this as a bug." --Bailey
DVDs
#67 by LPMiller
2003-10-03 01:12:09
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Also, whiskey pie.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#68 by Bailey
2003-10-03 06:05:23
Mmmm, whiskey soup!

Anywhere but here, with anyone but you.
#69 by Bailey
2003-10-03 06:06:37
Besides, we've got oceans of livers just waiting to be harvested from third-world countries. Those people need to make money somehow, and if you're not contributing by buying their organs as black market basement prices, you're a selfish inhuman cesspool.

Anywhere but here, with anyone but you.
#70 by LPMiller
2003-10-03 16:53:01
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
I support that statement and will contribute to your political party and/or charity.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#71 by Shadarr
2003-10-03 20:24:45
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
Someone should make an organ trading game.  You start out as a courier, but as you make money you can expand into harvesting and installation.  By the end of the game you should be able to run organ farms, where breeding females pump out babies for the next generation of organs.
#72 by Bailey
2003-10-03 21:06:38
So like Lemonade Stand, but for organ-farming? Didn't they already do that with drug-dealing?

Anywhere but here, with anyone but you.
#73 by Shadarr
2003-10-03 22:32:28
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
I'm sure they've done it with lots of things.  I want to be able to kill street kids and harvest their organs.

Probably would make a good cell or PDA game, for playing on transit or in line-ups.  "What're ya playing?"  "Involuntary Organ Donor."  "Oh... hey look, this is my stop."
#74 by Dumdeedum
2003-10-03 23:34:36
http://www.dumdeedum.com
A sort of sick twist on the GTA ambulance missions then?

Studies have shown that I'm right.
#75 by Shadarr
2003-10-03 23:49:12
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
Kinda, but with more of a management aspect to it.  You can only make so much money as the courier, and even harvesting organs yourself won't make you the Mad Bank, so at some point you need to get other people doing the wetwork for you.  And if you pour enough money into research, you can create Miracle Grow for humans, turning those infants on your organ farms into full adults (physically) in mere days.
#76 by Bailey
2003-10-04 00:03:18
Why not just insert several baby hearts into an adult human chest cavity?

Anywhere but here, with anyone but you.
#77 by Shadarr
2003-10-04 00:08:51
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
I'll need to do a feasability study.
#78 by Ryslin
2003-10-04 12:59:19
(waves piece of paper)
I don't drink.

Due to doctors, I know have perscriptions for both narcotics and barbituates. I even have fake barbituates.

I really don't like drugs at all. I have no clue why they insist this is the best way.

Anyone have good advice for a neck that seems to want to be broke. The darn ends of the spinal column are rubbing together and causing ALOT ... of pain.
Like stick nails in my eyes is more comfortable.

anyway..

Zang! Who is that, running over the desert! It is Ryslin, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a spectacular grunt, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to spank you beyond mortal comprehension, then bake cookies!"
#79 by zimbardo_ugly
2003-10-04 13:18:59
zimbardo_ugly@hotmail.com
And speaking of medical problems, I cut my gums with a Fisherman's Friend yesterday. Friend indeed!

"All things fall and are built again,
And those that build them again are gay." (W. B. Yeats)
#80 by lwf
2003-10-04 13:19:50
Are you a fisherman?

the rain hits the ground and the trees they dry it up
#81 by zimbardo_ugly
2003-10-04 14:04:09
zimbardo_ugly@hotmail.com
Good point.

"All things fall and are built again,
And those that build them again are gay." (W. B. Yeats)
#82 by Sgt Hulka
2003-10-04 18:02:58
Are any of your friends fisherman?

" Hulka - I love Videomaker. And you're one ugly mutherfucker. " - Yotsuya
#83 by Sgt Hulka
2003-10-04 18:03:59
fishermen, not FISHERMAN!  Faster than a speeding Mullet, has the ability to fish from 100 yards.  Why look, down in the creek, it's FISHERMAN!

I need coffee.

" Hulka - I love Videomaker. And you're one ugly mutherfucker. " - Yotsuya
#84 by Ryslin
2003-10-05 06:39:09
(waves piece of paper)
That was obvious Hulka.

Zang! Who is that, running over the desert! It is Ryslin, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a spectacular grunt, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to spank you beyond mortal comprehension, then bake cookies!"
#85 by deadlock
2003-10-06 19:21:01
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Damn you, Dumdeedum! I was all excited at the prospect of Craplets! The Funky New Toy from m0rn! Instead I get some stuff that I don't even know what it is.

"You know you are doing art when everyone has an opinion of what you're doing." - Lexx, creator of the supremely stupid Doom for Columbine mod.
#86 by Dumdeedum
2003-10-06 20:05:41
http://www.dumdeedum.com
A thousand apologies, sahib.  Please accept this block of peat as a sign of my penance, don't eat it all at once.

If you combine rag dolling with bullet time do you get ragtime?
#87 by Trolly McTroll
2003-10-06 20:56:36
Mmmm... peat

"..and Trolly McTroll is the best name EVER. I laugh every time I see it."  - ZEP
" If i ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Trolly. - The_Joker
#88 by Squeaky
2003-10-06 21:08:51
#85 deadlock
Damn you, Dumdeedum! I was all excited at the prospect of Craplets! The Funky New Toy from m0rn! Instead I get some stuff that I don't even know what it is.

instead you got girls kissing!

The reason of your unreasonable usage of my reason, does so enfeeble my reason, that I have reason to expostulate with your beauty.
DVDs
#89 by Squeaky
2003-10-08 07:17:36
We Want Your Soul!

The reason of your unreasonable usage of my reason, does so enfeeble my reason, that I have reason to expostulate with your beauty.
DVDs
#90 by E-ph0nk
2003-10-08 10:49:32
http://www.electrophonk.be
Your soul is worth 5689. For your peace of mind, 92% of people have a purer soul than you.

*sigh*
#91 by Ashiran
2003-10-08 10:55:54
Your soul is worth 25519. For your peace of mind, 38% of people have a purer soul than you.

I'm rich!

AND DON'T ADD A SMILEY AFTER EVERY GODDAMN THING YOU SAY!
#92 by E-ph0nk
2003-10-08 12:08:05
http://www.electrophonk.be
i'm evil

*sigh*
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